Fight, Flight, Freeze: A Simple Guide to the Polyvagal ladder and Feeling Safe Again

The polyvagal theory can sound complicated, but at its core, it explains one simple truth:

Your body tries to protect you before you even think.

Here’s the easiest way to understand the polyvagal ladder.

The Three Rungs of the Ladder

1. Top: Safe & Social

You feel connected, calm, steady.

2. Middle: Fight-or-Flight

Anxiety, racing heart, restlessness, hypervigilance.

3. Bottom: Shutdown

Numbness, fatigue, disconnection, overwhelm.

Anxiety lives in the middle rung.

How to Climb Back Up

From Fight-or-Flight → Safe & Social

1. Long exhales

2. Humming or singing (stimulates the vagus nerve)

3. Warmth on the chest

4. Eye contact with someone safe

5. Gentle shaking to discharge adrenaline

These signal safety to the body.

Why This Matters for Anxiety

Many people try to “think” their way out of anxiety, but that’s nearly impossible because anxiety begins in the body.

Nervous system → brain → thoughts. Not the other way around.

Regulation must start with the body.