Rage in motherhood and midlife
Rage during postpartum, perimenopause, or menopause is far more common than you’d think (up to 70%)!
Hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, identity changes, and prolonged stress can all contribute to irritability, mood swings and anger surfacing quickly and intensely.
For many women, this is accompanied by a sense of guilt, shame, and feeling disconnected from themselves, not to mention interpersonal conflict or strained relationships. Even our language around this rage is negative - anger is not usually a welcomed emotion for women.
Rage is not a character flaw—it’s often a sign of overload or a symptom of hormonal changes.
Why Rage Can Intensify During Hormonal Transitions
Fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone directly affect the chemicals in your brain (neurotransmitters) that impact on mood and emotional regulation.
Physical symptoms and discomfort can increase irritability
Sleep deprivation increases nervous system reactivity
Mental load and emotional labor accumulate without release
Cultural expectations discourage women from expressing anger safely
When anger is suppressed, it often erupts.
How to Process Rage Safely and Effectively
Normalize the experience.
Reducing shame immediately lowers emotional intensity. Rage does not mean you are unsafe or unloving. You are not your rage, you are experiencing rage.
Create physical release.
Strong emotions require body-based outlets: walking, shaking, pushing against a wall, or intense exhaling.
Contain before expressing.
Regulate your nervous system before addressing others. Rage needs safety, not suppression.
Identify the root stressor.
Ask: “What is this feeling tell me?” Rage is often cumulative rather than situational.
Restore nervous system capacity.
Prioritize sleep support, nourishment, lowered expectations, and protected rest.
Processing rage is not about eliminating anger—it’s about listening to what the body and emotions are demanding in moments of depletion.
